The Glass Child

"If you don't ask, you don't find a problem."
Louise Heck was 18 months old when her sister Carson was born with a significant disability — she's never known life without her. Now a social worker who runs sibling support groups, Louise brings both lived experience and clinical insight to this conversation about parentification, guilt, and the anxiety of caregiving that may outlast her own lifetime. She also opens up about becoming Carson's legal guardian at 30, after losing both her parents in a car accident, and the day she went into labor during a guardianship meeting for her sister. 
More about Louise:
Louise Heck LCSW-C is a licensed clinical social worker who provides clinical social work services to the families of children with developmental disabilities and severe behavior problems on a 16-bed inpatient Neurobehavioral Unit(NBU) at the Kennedy Krieger Institute. These services include conducting psychosocial assessments, providing supportive counseling to the family throughout the admission which are typically 4-6 months, and working closely with community agencies to facilitate appropriate services for a safe discharge.
 
Louise is a native Baltimorean but started her career in New York City in 1983 working for a foster care agency as a caseworker. While working full time she obtained her Masters in Social Work-Clinical, at Hunter College School of Social Work, One-Year Residency Program in 1989. She then took on the responsibilities of supervising 5 caseworkers in the same agency until thespring of 1991, when she and her husband relocated back to Baltimore.
 
Wanting to be back on the frontline, Louise worked as a Clinical Social Worker: UMMS; Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) assessing family psychosocial functioning and coping in relation to having their child in the NICU and providing referrals for follow up. While there shereceived training in Family Systems Therapy at the Family Therapy Practice Center Externship Program, Washington DC.
 
In 1993 Louise came to the Kennedy Krieger Institute Department of Social and worked in their outpatient mental health clinic. Including a few months on the NBU, she provided mental health evaluations and psychotherapy to children, adolescents, adults, and families referred to the clinic.
 
In 1998 Louise returned to NBU and has been working there ever since.In 2001 Louise received training in SibShops from Don Meyer which was not only clinically important to her practice but to her personally. Louise has a sister 18 months younger than her who has severe intellectual and physical disabilities. The experience of siblings that led to SibShops and on line resources strongly resonated with her. Currently she is a member of the online group SibNet, Maryland Sibling Network, and Sibling Leadership Network. She assisted in organizing and running the first MDSibs 2015 a statewide conference for siblings of developmental disabilities and others interested in sibling issues in Oct 2015. She has also given a presentation on Siblings of People with Disabilities – the Missing Piece to her work colleagues.
 
Louise lives in Baltimore City with her husband and two sons, 26 and 28. She has also been the guardian for her sister since December of 1996. Her sister lives close by in a small group home. Louise special interest include continuing to develop and provide services for sibling of people with disabilities, advocating for services for people with disabilities, and developing a mindfulness practice to assist others in coping with everyday life.
 
For more information about Kennedy Krieger: https://www.kennedykrieger.org/about-us
For more information about SIbShops - where Louise received training- and how they support siblings of kids with disabilities and: https://siblingsupport.org/sibshops/
And for more information about The Glass Child: www.theglasschild.com
Help us help you by joining the conversation: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/17WvZCrTNQ/
 

Part Two: The HOPE Framework in Action with Bernard Hennigan and Kim Manzo
Glass children are really good at not asking for help. So what happens when the help finds them instead? What if the systems around a child worked like a plane with multiple engines? If one fails — the home, the neighborhood, the family — another one keeps you in the air. No crashing and burning. That's exactly what Bernard Hennigan and Kim Manzo have built in the Harford County School District in Maryland. In part two of our HOPE framework series, we see what it looks like when a school district decides that every single person — from the teachers to the counselors to the bus drivers — is one of those engines.
 
For more information on HOPE in Hartford County Public Schools and to view Bernard Hennigan's presentation:  https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SjZrNhPfjIIxmGuq11TmX7PwVwK8ne0a/view?usp=share_link
 
For more information about HOPE: https://positiveexperience.org/
There's a great podcast, too: https://positiveexperience.org/podcast/
 
Link to the New York Times article featuring Bernard Hennigan (gift article): https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/31/headway/childhood-trauma-recovery-healing-research.html?unlocked_article_code=1.m1A.b9j4.KTU8uFaZauRS&smid=url-share
 
Quick note: we discuss ACE scores. ACEs, adverse childhood experiences, are potentially traumatic events that occur in childhood (0-17 years). For more information about ACEs: https://www.cdc.gov/aces/about/index.html#cdc_behavioral_basics_quick-quick-facts-and-stats
 
And for more information about The Glass Child: www.theglasschild.com
Help us help you by joining the conversation: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/17WvZCrTNQ/
 

Part One: Healthy Outcomes from Positive Experiences: How the HOPE Framework changes lives
The absence of the good stuff can be more damaging than the presence of the bad stuff. That's the finding at the heart of the HOPE framework — Healthy Outcomes from Positive Experiences — and honestly, when I first heard it, I was skeptical. Positive experiences? That's the solution? But then I talked to Amanda Winn of the HOPE National Resource Center at Tufts University. And I kind of stopped breathing for a minute. This is part one of two — and it might be the most hopeful conversation we've had on this podcast yet.
For more information about HOPE: https://positiveexperience.org/
There's a great podcast, too: https://positiveexperience.org/podcast/
Link to the New York Times article featuring Dr Robert Sege (gift article): https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/31/headway/childhood-trauma-recovery-healing-research.html?unlocked_article_code=1.m1A.b9j4.KTU8uFaZauRS&smid=url-share
Quick note: we discuss ACE scores. ACEs, adverse childhood experiences, are potentially traumatic events that occur in childhood (0-17 years). For more information about ACEs: https://www.cdc.gov/aces/about/index.html#cdc_behavioral_basics_quick-quick-facts-and-stats
 
And for more information about The Glass Child: www.theglasschild.com
Help us help you by joining the conversation: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/17WvZCrTNQ/

Glass children grew up taking care of their disabled sibling. They took on roles and responsibilities years ahead of their chronological age and maturity. It left them with a deep sense of duty to others. But it also left some feeling empty, confused, and invisible.
What happens when you spend decades caring for everyone else—and then finally turn that care toward yourself?
Paula Wiese is a former teacher, a current trauma-informed life coach, and a Glass Child who began learning to take care of herself at the age of 55. She's brave, she's honest, and now she helps other siblings heal from the trauma so many Glass Children experienced.
Today, Paula shares her journey—and what she's learned about finally putting yourself in the frame.
For more about Paula and how she can help you: https://www.siblingcoach.com/
And for more information about The Glass Child: www.theglasschild.com
Help us help you by joining the conversation: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/17WvZCrTNQ/
 

How do you navigate the space between being both a sibling and a caregiver? 
Many Glass Children struggle with this 'both/and'—and it's something we talk a lot about on our podcast. But how do you actually live it? How do you nurture a relationship of caregiving while also nurturing a relationship of sibling-hood?
Today's guest is shaking things up! Dr. Zara Waldman, PhD, CCC-SLP, is a Glass Child who's learning to navigate exactly this space with her sister. And she's here to explore what it really feels like to hold both roles at once.
Dr Zara Waldman is a sib as well as an associate professor, speech-language therapist, and sibling advocate/researcher. She shares her experiences, research, and supports on Instagram as @heysibsister. Zara is the founder/facilitator of the Southern Connecticut Sibshop, co-lead of the CT Sibs (an adult sibling group), and the Connecticut state representative for the Sibling Leadership Network. 
 
www.theglasschild.com
 

Today on The Glass Child, we're zooming out.
Whether you were the helper, the peacemaker, or the kid who stayed small so others could shine—your relationship with your mother shaped you before you had words for it. And those patterns don't disappear.
Join us as we explore the mother-daughter life cycle with Khara Croswaite Brindle, MA, LPC, ACS, CFT™. Khara has her own counseling practice, is a TEDx speaker, and an Amazon #1 best-selling author, including, Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships.  Khara discusses: how to help young girls develop a sense of their own agency; three things adult daughters have told her they need to begin repairing the relationship: whether moms owe their daughters an apology; and tools and checklists she's developed for Mothers and Daughters and Clinicians seeking help for their relationship and clients. For further information, please visit https://www.estrangementenergycycle.com/
Episode note: this episode contains profanity.
Watch Khara's TEDx talk: https://youtu.be/DWtabphQeC4?si=dReRAaQVoeyyl3lC
Instagram:  @kharacroswaite 
And here is a list of books to help Adult Daughters navigate their relationship with their mothers (in addition to the ones mentioned on the podcast):  https://croswaitecounselingpllc.com/blog/2023/7/21/seven-books-to-specialize-in-mother-daughter-relationships
www.theglasschild.com

Diane has no memory of life before David. She was only four years old when her brother was born, but quickly became his near-constant companion, helper, interpreter, and "little Mom." She speaks candidly about her experiences growing up with a disabled sibling, including one particularly painful day following her mom's death.
 
Find Diane's book at her blog: 
 https://www.tulsakids.com/author/diane-morrow-kondos/ 
www.theglasschild.com
 

In today's episode, we talk with Samantha about a topic that affects so many Glass Children: parentification. Parentification happens when a child ends up acting like the parent—taking on adult responsibilities they shouldn't have to handle. This might mean doing household chores, managing bills, or providing emotional support like mediating family fights or being a parent's therapist. It usually happens when families are under a lot of stress, and it can really mess with a kid's mental health, both now and down the road. Sam talks to us about what it looked like in her family; how it disrupted her childhood and led to deep anxiety in her adulthood. And the moments in her life that as helped her begin the process of healing. 
Samantha wrote a book about her experience, Finding Life's Blessings: A Journey of Hardship, Healing and Hope. Signed copies are available on her website www.findinglifesblessings.com or on Amazon. Info about Kennedy Krieger Institute https://www.kennedykrieger.org/